Would you like to know whose emails and social media updates I follow? People who I want to be more like. I’ve always done this.
No one understood why I hung out with this one big ego jerky dude every weekend back in college. People would tell me not to bring him around.
He was so abrasive in a beautiful way. I was only invited to a party if I didn’t bring him. My friend April couldn’t stand him. She actually gave me that ultimatum.
Let me explain.
My friend had a lot of friends because he had charisma oozing out of his fingernails. He could make a group cry from laughter. He was the star of most groups, and it made a lot of people uncomfortable. They couldn’t be him, so they hated him.
I understood. I hated him too, at times.
He nicknamed everyone, and most nicknames were meant to expose what he thought was your worst attribute.
His nickname for me was “meaty” as in “meathead”, and everyone who knows me knows this is not an apt name for me. He did it because I had meathead tendencies, especially with a few beers in me. I would try to be a big player in the room when that wasn’t my personality.
He called me out on it and at the same time loved it. He wanted me to ham it up so he could make jokes about me to my face. But what really happened is that by ridiculing my behavior, he exposed me to myself.
He was a social mirror.
A lot of you might be thinking, what a messed up friendship. And at times it was. He cultivated this craziness in his life and I played into it.
He also taught me so much about myself and the concept of connection. I wouldn’t be married to the most beautiful, thoughtful, and kind woman I know if it wasn’t for him. He showed me the value of planning as well as many other concepts.
Stop Winging It and Start Measuring
One of my friends rules to life was:
You don’t go on a date and just wing it. You create an experience for the person.
He understood the value of showing a woman your personality so she either wanted more or pushed you away. After hanging out with him, I started incorporating his ideas into how I created relationships with women. I planned out my dates to show who I was and why I wanted to be that person.
Dating Success is like Good Marketing
Do you agree?
The other person (and please realize that this includes potential customers too!) needs to see your best side and your true side in order to get to know you and determine whether or not they want to deepen the relationship. If they don’t want to deepen the relationship, then they aren’t the right fit for you. But of course if they do, that’s the route to more sales and prosperity being the “real” you.
I made a lot of mistakes. I tried to be him at times, and to be honest I’m not that charismatic. I have charm, but not “take over a party’ charisma. So I used his concepts but adjusted them to make them my own.
Look at people who you admire in your same industry. What are they doing that you want to incorporate into your own business?
The 4 steps to turn other people’s success into your own:
- Copy what you like about someone you admire.
- Incorporate it into your business.
- Measure the results.
- Refine it to make it your own style so you get better results.
Once you see a little more business success, this is where you can become your own best you.
As you grow your business, it can help to emulate others who have success, but build on their brilliance and highlight your own core values.
You have values and personality that people want to connect with, and you have to let it shine in order to maximize the potential of your business.
I know it can be hard because you will probably feel vulnerable, but it’s why I enjoy helping people go from connection to conversion in their business. We focus on their core values then figure out where we can create sales leverage. Once they can create a enticing message from their core then they can try out other people’s ideas to see what works for them. It sounds nerdy, but it’s really a lot of fun.
There is something magical when you progress from copying others into becoming your own person, creating real connects from person to person.
You can start to have fun with connecting. Instead of thinking of your outreach as something you have to do, you are able to fully express how special your offers are to your ideal customers. It stops being about selling and your message focuses on teaching people your values.
Click to tweet – “Use what you like from other business owners, then make it your own.”
What is a connection technique that caught your attention recently that you would like to incorporate into your business?
Let’s share in the comments so we can all learn and connect.